Can You Handle The Truth?
by Bellabrew
Summary: Response to unbound challenge does contain season 6 but no 6.15 spoilers. The truth of Grissom's relationships with Lady Heather and Sara is explored. Rating changed due to 2nd chapter just in case.
1. The Dominion

SPOILERS: Shouldn't have any but is my pre-emptive strike based on spoilers forep to 6.15.

DISCLAIMER: Alas not mine in any way, shape or form.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a response to the Unbound Challenge for the week of January 29, 2005. This story is dedicated to the folks in the yahoo group CSI-GrissomSara. Long live GSR and don't abandon the ship!

**

* * *

"Have you lost your mind?"** Nick hissed looking up from his magazine. "Greg letting Sara go alone over to the Dominion to interview Lady Heather is just asking for trouble." 

"Especially with Grissom off tonight." Warrick added.

Nick frowned, "You don't think he's over there do you?" Warrick shrugged.

"Poor Sara." Greg lamented into his coffee cup.

* * *

Jim knocked on the door, watching Sara in his peripheral vision to gauge her reaction to Lady Heather's Dominion. She seemed calm and professional as if she didn't know about Grissom's interactions with Lady Heather. A woman answered the door. The young blonde was obviously one of Heather's submissives. A whip cracked loudly in the distance followed by a scream. Brass noted Sara was apparently unmoved by the sounds generated by Lady Heather's clients and employees. Of all the CSIs he would have expected Sara to be the most upset by this place. 

"Captain Brass LVPD and Sara Sidle of the Crime Lab we're here to see Lady Heather."

Glancing at his badge before nodding, she made a 'follow me' motion and led them upstairs to her mistress. After a soft knock and a quiet conversation they entered her private domain. Sara didn't seem surprised, embarrassed or hurt to see Grissom reclining on the divan with the leather clad woman. She met their questioning gazes calmly. Brass noticed Grissom's discomfort as he broke eye contact to stare at his hands, like a cheating husband caught with his mistress.

"I'm sorry to intrude Lady Heather, but may we ask you a couple of questions?" Sara asked in a professional voice.

Lady Heather looked from Gil to Sara analyzing their relationship. In a single glance she'd noticed the resemblance between her and _his_ employee. Was it a coincidence or something more she wondered, musing on the enigma of Grissom while studying his employee. Sara looked very young in the rose sweater set and blue jeans. Sara continued speaking as if she didn't notice the tension or Heather's intense gaze.

"We're trying to identify the victim of a hit and run. She didn't have any identification, but our Coroner noticed some familiar scarring and thought you might know her."

Moving closer Sara handed the Polaroid to the other. Grissom jumped a little when her leg accidentally brushed the hand resting on his knee. It was one of those meaningless contacts people have in close quarters, except theirs like always was electrically charged. It was odd to have such a strong connection when he was sitting in the boudoir of a woman rumored to be his lover.

Lady Heather stroked his shoulder to get his attention and purred. "I'm going to take Miss Sidle to my office. It should only take a few minutes."

Brass waited for the ladies to leave before speaking, "Sorry I didn't know you were seeing your _friend _tonight. Otherwise I'd have made Sara wait or come alone. It's bad enough to hear the rumors, but it's gotta hurt more to see it."

"Nothing is happening Jim."

Brass just shrugged, he'd heard that from better liars than Gil. "Sara's taking it real well. I expected something different, like your reaction to Pettigrew."

Grissom felt bad enough about having an employee seeing him at the Dominion, but having Sara see it was a hundred times worse. This was the most thoughtless and hurtful thing he'd done to her. He hoped Heather wouldn't taunt Sara and that Sara wouldn't react like the 'loose cannon' Ecklie thought she was.

* * *

"You've known him a long time." Lady Heather asked, bent over her desk, long hair hiding her face. 

"Yes."

"You're jealous and threatened by me Miss Sidle." For the Dominatrix it wasn't a question, but a statement of fact.

"Not in the least."

That wasn't the answer Heather had expected. When her eyes met Sara's they were frosty. "You should be because I'm not going anywhere."

Shrugging Sara replied. "Enjoy your time with him. It won't last."

"Really?"

"Really. I just hope you don't ruin his reputation or career before this tryst is through."

"What makes you so sure this is just a tryst and not something more?"

"I know Grissom. You both might try to change, but in the end it won't work. You're just too different to ever fit comfortably in the other's life."

"And you would?"

"Unlike you I understand his work. You think that you've seen the worst humanity has to offer because of the people who pay for your services, but you haven't. He may tell you some of it, but he won't share all the horrors we see every night. You'll try to understand the first time he breaks a date, but each time he makes a case or a victim more important than you it will be more and more irritating until eventually you'll have enough. Whereas I would be happier at a crime scene than a fancy dinner. Would you really be comfortable sharing him with his crime scenes, his bloody experiments in the fridge, or his critters; the maggots, spiders and cockroaches he collects?" Sara shook her head no she just couldn't see the perfectly made up and fashionably dressed Dominatrix happily listening to him lecture on forensics or bugs, let alone going with him to the body farm.

"You sound like you've given it a lot of thought?"

Sara shrugged, she and Grissom had been doing this dance for years and they had both dated other people. She'd only warned Lady Heather about the obstacles because Sara honestly wanted him to be happy. Personally she thought she had the better shot, but the ball was still in his court. Lifting the post it with the victim's name and address. "Thanks for this anyway."

* * *

Standing outside the Dominion she felt Brass staring. "What Jim?" 

"How are you?"

"Fine. Now that I've met her, I get it."

Brass sighed. "**I'm the only sane one here."**

**TBC**


	2. The Morning After

Spoilers: Onlythrough the aired episodes of season 6 as of February 18, 2006.

AN: Response to Gibby'sChallenge on YTDAW. To include

--GSR, _of course_  
--Grissom has never had sex  
--He has to admit it to one person, at least  
--Brass has to tell the story of how he lost his virginity

Disclaimer: GSR and CSI aren'tmine, but I hope you enjoy this story anyway.

* * *

Catherine caught up with him in the hallway, glancing down at her watch then back at him. "Hey I thought you were off tonight? Did we get a body with bugs that I didn't hear about?"

"No. I just needed to talk with someone." His voice had been soft and hurt. Catherine noticed the way he stood with his hands in his pockets and the slump to his shoulders.

"Well I'm someone." She winked at him. "How 'bout I buy you a cup of coffee?" He was about to refuse, but decided to accept it with a small nod. It would give him more time to figure out what he wanted to say to Sara. They walked in silence through the halls down to the break room.

"Well I guess Grissom wasn't with Lady H tonight." Greg told Nicky as he poured the coffee grounds into the machine. "Cuz she was okay when she came back, not all smiles, but no puffy eyes or smell of gsr either."

Nick laughed, only Greg could get away with checking Sara for gun shot residue. "Well she's out with War on his jumper doing some physics experiment."

"Yeah she mentioned it right before she left me with the rest of the paperwork on our Jane Doe. Yuck." Nick laughed again at the face Greg made.

Catherine whispered a quick "Sorry." to Grissom then walking a little harder she announced their arrival with the steady rapping of her heels against the tile floor.

"Hey Griss. You're getting as bad as Sara coming in on your day off."

"Coffee will be ready in a minute. It's not my Blue Hawaiian, but better than the sludge dayshift left us. I need decent brew if I want to finish this paperwork by end of shift."

Sitting at the break room table waiting for the coffee to brew and watching the trio, Gil thought about his family. Not the family he was born into or even one he'd created. He was thinking about this family. Admitting Catherine had been right on that morning all those years ago they had formed a family around him. He had his boys and couldn't be prouder of his own children. Warrick who'd overcome his addiction, Nick who'd survived more than one emotional trauma and Greg who was still young, but Gil saw his promise. Catherine was a friend and the perfect office wife, always there to remind him of memos and go with to events. Which left Sara. As a mentor he was proud of her, as a man he was attracted to her and always amazed at how truly incredible she was. He still wasn't sure where exactly where he wanted Sara to fit in to their little family or what he wanted to do about 'this'.

The coffee finally finished dripping into the pot and Catherine stood making them each a cup. Handing him his mug she lead him through the halls to her office. Taking a seat on one end of the couch she tipped her head indicating he should take the other. She sipped her coffee for a minute before speaking.

"Are you here to talk to Sara? I heard she went to the Dominion to interview Lady Heather. Did she go ballistic?"

"Not at all Sara was the consummate professional." Catherine smiled into her coffee cup. Gil had slipped and basically admitted to being there.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I need to set a few things straight. The rumors are wrong you know. I'm no more romantically involved with Heather than I am with you."

"Oh." Based on Catherine's expression he saw that she had believed the rumors as much as anyone. Suddenly he wondered if her recollections of their initial visit to the Dominion had fueled the stories. "So now you're gonna explain that to Sara? First Sophia and now a Dominatrix."

"Sophia is a co-worker and Heather is…." He wasn't sure how much he wanted to share with Catherine. Things had changed between them, he still respected her, she was still his friend, but when she sided with Ecklie about firing Sara he'd felt betrayed for himself, but mostly for Sara. Sara who had already survived tragedy, loss, pain and suffering.

Only after Sara shared her intensely personal secret did he truly understand how remarkable the brunette was. Sure some cases affected her, but she still retained the ability to empathize and feel even after her childhood. If he'd been a better friend and supervisor he'd have seen the fragile cracks in her armor that lead to her confrontations with the suspect, Catherine and Ecklie. He'd admitted his culpability in her actions and wished Catherine had understood and accepted his explanation instead of assuming it had been done because of some favoritism towards the younger woman.

So when words failed him he quoted. "There are those who pass like ships in the night, who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight with never a backward glance of regret; folks we know briefly then quickly forget. Then there are friends who sail together, through quiet waters and stormy weather, helping each other though joy and through strife. And they are the kind who give meaning to life."

"Very pretty Gil, but I still think you should plan on doing a lot of groveling because she's gotta be pissed."

--

Those words echoed in his mind as he stood in front of Sara's apartment. He'd missed her at work while he talked first with Catherine and then Brass. Now that he thought about it that was really a blessing because this really wasn't the sort of conversation he wanted to have at the lab. Knocking lightly on her door he waited. Sara opened the door and for an instant he saw a flash of pain and sadness, but these were quickly masked. He'd never thought about the masks that Sara wore or that in many ways she was better at concealing her feelings than he was because for years he'd never really understood how hurt she was by those cases.

"Hey what brings you here?" Sara asked leaning against the door.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." She shrugged as she opened the door to let him in. He saw that she'd changed out of her work clothes and into something he guessed was more comfortable. She had paired a pink cotton tank top with loose blue knit pajama bottoms decorated with Grumpy the dwarf, alarm clocks and mugs of coffee all over them.

"Do you want something to drink? Coffee, tea or something else?"

"Tea would be good."

Sara smiled as she moved around her small kitchen while Grissom silently leaned on her counter and watched. He'd expected her to microwave mugs of water and drop a Lipton tea bag into the cup. Instead he watched her turn on the stove, fill a metal tea kettle and set it on the burner. This was unexpected and had him wondering how well he knew Sara. Opening an overhead cabinet she pulled out a tray and then pulling out a china tea set.

While she looked at her collection of loose teas, he looked at the tea set. It was obviously old with a delicate rose pattern. Finally selecting a tea she scooped it into a metal ball that she hooked onto the edge of the pot. When the kettle whistled she transferred the hot water into the pot. Sara poured some cream into the small cream pot and sugar into the bowl. Grissom was surprised at the detail to attention. It reminded of the morning when he'd had tea with Lady Heather. Did Sara know about that as well and what did she think it meant?

Carrying the tray over to the coffee table she sat on the sofa. Grissom sat down at the other end and took a moment to glance around her apartment again. On his last visit he'd been preoccupied by Sara and his quest for answers to really look at her home. This time he took the time and marveled at how much her home reflected her personality and sense of self. The bright walls, eclectic furnishings and the assorted nick knacks she'd accumulated over the years.

"Cream and sugar?" She asked pulling him back from his reverie. While she poured the tea he noticed the design on the tray. Around the line drawing of a Victorian house were the words Indian Summer, Tamales Bay, California.

"Sugar no cream." Sara stirred the sugar in and handed him the cup and saucer. He looked at the china in his hand and suddenly wondered what Sara was thinking.

"Indian Summer?" He asked watching Sara's grip on the tea pot tighten slightly.

"The B and B where I grew up." She offered in way of explanation. "We only served breakfast and high tea to the guests, but when I got home from school Mom would pull out this tea set, make a pot of tea and we'd talk. For that hour I had her undivided attention." Setting her cup aside she turned to face him. "Now it's your turn to have my whole attention. So what did you want to talk about?"

Grissom wasn't sure how to begin and was grateful when Sara spoke again. "Work?" He shook his head. "This?" Motioning between them and smiling when he shook his head again, but didn't look in her eyes. "About last night, Lady Heather and the Dominion?" She asked finally he nodded.

"Sara it's not what everyone thinks it is."

"Then what is it Grissom. If you're not sleeping with the woman then why were you there?"

"I was asking for some advice."

"Advice?"

"Professional advice. Given her background I thought she could help me with this problem I've been having." Sara didn't speak just picked up her tea and sipped quietly. Observing how Grissom was staring at the dark liquid in the cup as if searching for answers. "I've tried lots of things over the years, but the Doctor thought maybe she might be able to help."

Sara looked at him closer, this wasn't the first time he'd mentioned a Doctor when they were talking about sex. She remembered standing in the victim's bedroom holding a bottle of lube in her hand and him leaving quickly to go 'see the doctor.'

For him to be speaking about a problem told her it was serious and more troublesome than his hearing loss. Goose bumps rose on her arms as the thought Prostate Cancer flashed in her mind. The thought of him dying scared the hell out of her. "Grissom what's wrong?"

He noticed the panic in her voice, she sounded more frightened now than she had when Adam Trent attacked her. "It's embarrassing to admit, but Sara I'm a virgin. I had a traumatic experience years ago and have been working with a sex therapist to resolve it, but nothing has worked yet. Dr. Dalton hoped that Lady Heather might have some insight into some non-traditional techniques. The doctor thought that if I was put in the submissive role where I had no control over my reaction I might finally have the necessary breakthrough."

Sara sat back against her sofa, recalling the crime scene from the last shift they'd worked. _Brass stood in the doorway of the teenage girl's room as Grissom and Sara processed the pair of naked teens. "Kinda remains me of Sheila Horowitz."_

"_Who?" Sara asked looking up from the condom wrapper she was bagging._

"_My first conquest. Boy was that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, but you never forget your first." _

_Smiling Sara nodded. "I know what you mean. Jason Thomas."_

_Grissom had stood up and cleared his throat before letting David know he could take the bodies away._

Now with Grissom's revelation the scene took on a whole new meaning. She'd thought his discomfort had been related to the personal nature of the conversation while standing near the teens who had died during their first sexual encounter from severe allergic reactions to the latex condom. Now she knew it had been more than that.

"So was Lady Heather able to help you?"

"No." Setting down her cup she moved closer.

"Is that why you didn't know what to do about this?" He nodded his head. "Is it why you'd get so close and then seemed to pull away?"

"I was scared. I didn't want to hurt you, but I couldn't let you hurt me either."

Taking his cup and saucer she set them down on the table so she could get closer to him. "I would never hurt you Gil." Raising her hand to cup his face she smiled at the feel of his beard against the palm of her hand. "I told you I knew what to do about this remember?" He nodded and friction against her hand was delightful. It wasn't hard to imagine what it would feel like against her cheek, neck or any other exposed skin. Leaning forward she pressed her lips to his in a chaste peck. "You know that the brain is the largest sex organ and you've been seducing me with yours for years. So even if we could never make love I'd still be the happiest woman in Vegas because I love you."

This time it was Grissom who leaned forward to kiss Sara, but he deepened the kiss as he pulled her closer. It was sometime later when she took his hand to lead him to her bedroom. She didn't have any plan other than to accept what Grissom could give her and what he'd take from her. If that was just a few kisses, maybe a couple of hugs then it was more than either had gotten from the other before. "Sara? I don't know…."

She cut off the rest with a firm kiss. "Gil, we'll just take this one step at a time and move at your pace. If you're not comfortable with more than what we've done so far that's okay. I'm enjoying kissing you, but you need to know that I never expected you to change and I still don't. I only want what you can comfortably give me sweetheart." He nodded and followed her into her bedroom stopping just long enough to shut her bedroom door.

* * *

AN: The End? For now I'm not sure if I'll be adding more, please review and let me know what you think.


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